How to UnF*ck Your Life
Hopeless ....
Lost...
Without a purpose....
I was a ship stranded in the sea of unknown.
Constantly dizzy.
Constantly nauseous.
Constantly in desperation for it to all end....
A few years ago, I was hit with a summer full of sleepless nights, major anxiety attacks, and eating issues. I felt like there was no return back to normal life. Frankly, life felt pointless. I felt the most alone I have ever felt and I didn't know how to process it. This time period was the biggest rut I have ever faced in my life.
A rut in your life can be anything from several weeks of feeling unmotivated to years of feeling in a dark place with no drive, energy, and everything feeling meaningless. You may feel you are without a purpose or overwhelmed. Any of these feelings can trigger massive physical panic attacks to the point where you feel like you may be dying.
I was fortunately able to get out of my situation, and here's how I did it...
First, I opened up to those closest to me. People began praying for me and friends were beyond supportive. I began to socialize as much as possible out of the house. This included saying yes to anything my friends wanted to do, which got me invited to more things as I was becoming a regular.
I made it a habit to go to the gym consistently. This gave me goals to achieve. I would come back everyday trying to hit the next level of weight on a machine or try to see progress on a scale. This gave me something to look forward to in life. This was a great start.
As I grew in the gym, I started to look into gym creators for inspiration and knowledge. This obsession with fitness flung me into the world of self-improvement which is the reason I am here writing this today.
The commitment to self-improvement is the singular most important thing that took me out of the depressive state. I saw myself developing healthy habits and beginning to build up my mental fortitude. I became aware of my triggers and started cutting those things/people out of my life.
The most impactful self improvement habits that I experimented were the following: cold showers, NoFAP, meditation, gratitude journaling, visualization, social media fasting, and having a daily step goal.
Cold showers allowed me to wake up with a win, as I had to shower before my job early in the morning. It never got easier waking up and mustering the willingness to shower in freezing water for 5-10min. These showers would feel like a slap in the face, leaving me feeling like a badass but also rejuvenated and ready for the day.
NoFAP had a number of benefits. Stopping my consuming of nsfw content led to more social confidence and less sexual thoughts. This was already a win in my book since this was something I was struggling with. In addition, my strength felt optimal at the gym on long streaks of noFAP and I truly believe that people were more drawn to make conversation with me. I felt more approachable, confident, and full.
Meditation and visualization are important tools to destress, clear the mind, and cultivate success. The ability to clear your mind and focus is essential to heightened cognitive abilities, critical thinking, and creativity. Calm reflection and clearing of the mind allowed me to reflect on my day, especially the good parts. I became more intentional with my actions and social interactions. I realized that I felt more present, and I would feel grateful for my current situation. To add to the great effects of meditation, I also stacked visualization on days I had more time. This technique had me reflecting on my ideal self, short term goals, long term goals, and my dream life. I would try my utmost hardest to visualize every aspect including a mundane day in my dream life. I knew I would be eating ground turkey and rice after coming home from a morning workout and cold plunge. I knew I would be getting ready to film some content centered around self-improvement for my large audience. Even though I am not at this stage yet, those visualization sessions helped me to be where I am at now. I am now creating self improvement content with a great full time job, great friends, a wicked gym resume, and an overall great positioning in life with an abundance of opportunities moving forward. I still rely on meditation and visualization to get me through the day, improve mood, relieve stress, and tap into my future successful self.
A step by step framework to get you out of a rut:
- Biggest thing is to establish your why. Go on a journey to find your purpose. Meditate and journal often. Take a step back and undergo introspection. Braindump everything. Clear your mind so you can finally focus in this busy world.
- Keep learning about how to find your purpose and meditate on each article, video, book that you consume.
- Make the commitment to the self-improvement journey. Experiment with core habits such as meditation, journaling, cold showers, cold plunges, NoFAP, and fasting. See what works for you after a few weeks of trying these habits and stick to them. A physical workout is also core habit to begin implementing but it is a non-negotiable moving forward.
- Make yourself busy. Go to a church, mosque, shelters, retirement homes and volunteer. Enroll in a local gym and show up at the same time everyday until you make friends or at least can hold a conversation with the attendants. Enroll in therapy if possible. Reach out to old friends or family and re-connect.
- Identity shift. This one will require a journal and meditation. The idea is to get rid of the self you want to get rid of, and act as your ideal self would. You must become who you need to be to fulfill your purpose. The longer you “act” as your future self by performing healthy habits and striving for your purpose, the easier the transition will be from your “old” self. Go watch videos on this, I will add an article here soon.
- Realize you are your actions and not your thoughts. Push your momentum in a positive direction by just performing a few of these core self-improvement habits consistently and see where you end up in a few months.
Give this a try. At the end of the day, realize that every problem is solvable. The rut you are going through has most likely been experienced by another individual out there in the world, and that individual is now doing well and thriving. If they can do it, why can't you. Everyone is human, make that connection and realize you are just as strong as the next. Relentlessly use your powerful mind, develop it, challenge it, and make it accomplish what you need it to.
You are meant for more, you were put here on Earth alongside your brothers and sisters for a reason. Find your purpose and pursue it until the end of the world.
Some resources for you:
Self Improvement Content Creators
Myself (Matt Anthony), Cole Hastings, Bedros Keullian, Ali Afdaal, Alex Hormozi, Chris Williamson, Christ-Developed, Elliott Hulse, Rob Lipsett, FITXFEARLESS, Hamza, More Plates More Dates, Dan Koe.
Note - My DMs are always open for questions, comments, feedback, or if you need someone to talk to. (@themattanthony on Twitter/X)
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